The bus station was a crowded, loud place, but I saw nothing but her. I was aware of murmur of movement outside out own personal bubble, but I didn’t care or want to care. The clock was ticking, and I wanted it to stop, to extend this moment, to turn it into a chance, a hope, a whisper of a hope. I was longing for a touch of her hand, silently begging for a hug, for a touch of her cheek on mine.
She was looking at me, and I shivered slightly, her gaze easily stripping me of all my defenses. I wanted to stare into those eyes forever, but Life only granted us those last moments.
– Look there – I said, pointing at the long corridor.
– What? Why?
– Bad things will happen if you don’t turn your head away now – I offered.
She only smiled a bit, her face brave and determined; she did not turn her head. I leaned closer, almost kissing her, but slowed down, savoring the moment I’ve been waiting for so long. I closed my eyes, the scent of her filling my body with longing for summer only a dying winter tree knows.
Our lips touched, ever so slightly, and we both shuddered. There was so much in that light touch. I was oversaturated, overwhelmed, but I wanted more, knowing that it will never be enough. We kissed again, stronger, deeper longer – a single kiss exchanging love deeper than a lifetime of lust, passion and longing – a kiss of souls finally reuniting. I pulled her closer, and she gave in without resistance. Our bodies touched and to me it seemed as if they fit together, as if we were always supposed to be this close. We looked at each other, eyes watering slightly, lifetimes of belonging overwhelming our senses. There were still questions in our eyes, but fading quickly, melting in our embrace. I touched her face gently, my thumb stroking her cheek, my skin merging with her skin. This is real, here and now. I closed my eyes, inhaled her again and kissed her with complete awareness. I disappeared in the warmth her lips offered freely and openly. The dam broke and all my longing transformed into Love, finally, totally. She took it all, and gave back so much more. Breath. Touch. Kiss. Love.
We have found each other again, souls quenched after lifetimes of lack and substitute.
Why was I waiting before? Why was I trying to protect us from this, when it feels so right? Why did I resist the voice I knew to be true? Right now, it doesn’t matter anymore. I am complete, I belong.
I didn’t know how much time passed. Forever in an instant. Too short and so long. We emerged from our embrace, changed and finally complete. I could see it in her eyes, she could see it in mine; two broken mirrors now finally understanding. She held my hands in her and I’ve never felt this much at home, anywhere, anytime before this Now.
– I can stay – I said.
– No, you need to go… but I will come to you soon – she said, her eyes betraying her lies. A single tear rolled down her cheek.
– I will not be complete until you do – I tried again gently, with a smile.
– Neither will I – she said – but, I need this time, I have no choice.
Of course she did, but I understood. It was a cold knife in my heart after being born again, but of course I understood. I nodded and she stood up. I squeezed her hand a bit tighter and kissed her fingers, one by one, knowing I will probably never get another chance. She sighed and pulled my head closer, her navel resonating her heartbeats. I sinked in, held her tight, felt her hesitation, felt my own heart jumping with hope. She kissed the top of my head and broke free of my embrace. With tears in my eyes, I watched her disappear into the crowd, until even the hope of another glimpse faded into nothing.
With a heavy heart, I sank into my seat, tears burning the skin of my face, leaving scars that no one but her will ever see.