It was a beautiful sunset. I was jogging, but for some reason my mind and my body weren’t working together this time. My legs felt as if they were made of lead, but I kept pushing, slowly diving into that familiar tranquillity that comes with repeating motion. At one point struggle turned into a pure joy. My gaze was firmly locked on the clouds above and in front of me. I was observing how their colours changed as the sun dove deeper and deeper to the other side of the planet. I could feel its motion. I could understand why it was so difficult to let go of the idea that it is not the Sun that moves at all.
If I didn’t know better, I would swear that road I was running on was the centre of the Universe.
Twelve wild ducks flying south instinctively knew which formation conserves the most energy. Planes high above somehow knew how to get where they were meant to go. My feet knew when and where to step next and my body automatically followed their rhythm. I felt free somehow, as if running was the only thing I needed. There was music in my headphones, but instead of isolating me from the world around me, it brought everything closer. Cars were passing by in the beat of the music; street-lights turned green just at the moment I needed them to; I was breathing in the beat of the World, connected to it and free at the same time.
We don’t need much to feel free, I thought. It comes all the time, that feeling of belongingness and unity, but we do our best to ignore it or simply forget it the moment something else comes our way. We are already free; it is not something we should be struggling to be. It is our very core, the stuff we are made of. We live lives of forgetfulness only so we could remember. We think so much only to feel the silence and the beauty of that space between two thoughts. I’m sure everyone feels it, at least sometimes.
Diving into a clear blue sea on a very hot day, reaching the summit of your favourite mountain; the look in your lovers eyes after you’ve been apart for a few days; driving home with your windows rolled down as the perfect song starts on the radio; a look from an unknown girl that makes you smile, just as you convinced yourself you will never fall in love again – these are not moments that define us, these are moments that define what Life itself is made of. These are the moments that happen so we could feel the silence within us. Small, short, sweet samples of what we are capable of feeling when we learn that we are free and connected; joined but separate; active but peaceful at the same time. These are not the opposites of Life; they are merely complementary truth to it.
We are supposed to live lives full of these moments, until they become an elementary part of us, or rather, until we comprehend that they are exactly that, our nature; source and the destination alike.
I am grateful for this feeling of freedom today; I’m happy I pushed through the pain, because that made it even sweeter.
Thank you clouds.
Thank you sunset.
Thank you, wild ducks.
Thank you world.