You once asked me if I still remember her. I said I don’t, and I noticed you were happy about it, happy that I moved on with my life. Well, you can wipe that smile off your face. I said I don’t remember her because what I feel goes beyond that. Those are not memories that hurt me. It is not something from the past, that makes me cry. These tears fall because she is still a part of me. My life aches because I am still hers. Not a second goes by without her image in my mind.
I don’t remember her, I feel her.
I can still feel her presence, still smell her when I enter the room. I can still hear her voice and feel her touch. She may be gone for you, but to me she is a ghost that never leaves my side.
Don’t worry, I have not gone mad. I know what I feel cannot be real. But life without her is a never-ending pain, an infected wound that can never heal.
I chose this reality instead.
In my world, she is still here. I meet her after work for a nice walk in the park. We share thoughts and make decisions together. We go through each and every day as if it’s our last day together. She guides me as she always did and still makes me a better person, with every new choice and decision I must make throughout the day. She may not be real to you, but she is everything to me.
That is my choice.