There is no point in lying or pretending; no use in running away from it or hiding it. It is the underlying truth behind everything that humanity has ever done. It is the silent cause of things, both good and bad; the fabric of our own intentions and desires. Most people will never recognize it, and most of those that do will spend their lives denying it.
We are all incomplete.
We all have pieces missing. In each and every one of us there is a little black, empty, hollow part that aches. We move through our lives in desperate attempts to fill that void. Consciously or not, we are guided by that desire. For the most part we don’t recognize it or know how to deal with it; we just feel incomplete, unhappy even when there is no reason for it. Our parents can’t guide us because for the most part, the best they can do is to pretend that part of them does not exist, that it is something normal and should just be ignored. Even when their lives are miserable they still want us to follow their lead as they have followed their parents’. It is just a way life is.
Our schools are not equipped to deal with that issue, either. The system tries to push facts, numbers and equations, as much as they think we can handle. Some teachers will mention it, trying to push us towards that unknown barrier, at least trying to get us to think and act on it if they couldn’t. But they are as rare as honest truth-seekers. So, we march on through our childhoods, looking up to the adults, thinking about how settled they are and how in control of their lives only to realize that they are more messed up than we ever imagined.
And the void is still there.
We search for lovers, goals, projects, passions, hobbies and noble causes trying to understand what is it that cures that ache.
We fall in love and forget about that part of us for a while. We lose ourselves in that beautiful feeling; our pain soothed by a touch of someone who loves us. Sometimes it last for a lifetime, sometimes it falls apart quickly.
We realize we need someone else to make us feel better, so we are constantly trying to meet that someone, only to have our hearts broken, or end up breaking theirs, when we realize they are not what we are searching for. Every time it feels so close, but there are always parts that don’t fully fit.
We work hard, we chase our dreams with a firm belief they are ours alone. We push and realize those dreams, whatever they might be – we finish our book, travel the world, climb the highest mountains; get filthy rich or give everything we own to the charity. We become famous and respected and powerful. We build our dream houses and raise our children. We are happy and fulfilled; proud of our lives and everything we have done, but after everything is over, in that little space between two thoughts, the emptiness is still there.
That void can never be fixed, filled or removed. It is only a seed, an idea of something we must learn and accept, and when we do, it will simply cease to exist. Once we recognize it, truly recognize it for what it really is, it will vanish like thousands of thoughts do every day, for that is exactly what it is – an unformed, unclear, hidden thought. It takes lifetimes of growth to get there, and then it’s gone in a blink of an eye. You can’t fake it and it can’t be rushed, but when it comes it is as subtle and as powerful as a small river that carves its way through the mountain, and behind it, it only leaves a smile.
You are perfect. You have so much to learn and so much to grow through; so many concepts to drop and ideas to de-construct; so much Knowledge to acquire. But you are perfect and you should love yourself. All that love that you give away to others, but expect them to give it back – give some of it to yourself and you will se how things change. You will see that this entire world is made of love. Know that you still have a long way to go, but love yourself right now, as you are this very moment, and it will propel you forward like nothing else ever did. Fill that void with love for everything you are and can be.
Find it within you, look beyond all the expectation others have for you and go through the clutter of self-doubt and that poisonous feeling of not being good enough. Good enough for what, or whom? You are the ocean of potential, just recognize that. In your core you have accomplished everything lifetimes ago. Just smile now and enjoy it all. Love yourself, and the world will love you back tenfold.
And the void will no longer be there.