(Continued from Part I)
I waited. He was silent. I waited some more.
– So? – I said impatiently.
– So, what? -he replied.
– So, tell me the truth!
– I did.
I could feel the anger growing inside me, but I managed to swallow it somehow. This guy would not be of any help to me; I realized and turned around, ready to leave. At the same moment, as I made my first step, the pain was back, with all the numbness and desperation. I could hear his laughter behind me as I moved on, desperate to get as far as I could from him.
– I told you the truth! – he was screaming behind me.
Whatever. Another step. One more.
– It’s in the silence, my friend“ I heard the voice and stopped. He was standing right next to me, still smiling. I was breathing heavily, fighting for a proper breath and some peace of mind at the same time.
– How – I started, looking back at my steps in the sand. It doesn’t matter, anyway.
– Silence is just silence, – I said.
– Of course, but did you ever tried to listen? Did you ever pause that void between your thoughts? That is where your truth is, my friend, buried in the nothingness where all your thoughts are coming from. That is where I come from as well – he ended with a big smile.
– You come from the nothingness inside my head? Well, thank you.
– Don’t play your ego on me – I know you better than you know yourself.
– Oh, really? Well…
Right there, in the middle of sentence, everything changed. He disappeared, and so did the sand and the heat. I blinked, not believing what I see.
– You know where you are? – he asked quietly inside my head.
– Yes – I replied. I’m in my office, this is where I work. How did you…
– I didn’t do anything. Your dream just ended.
– My dream? It was not a dream and, you’re still here, aren’t you?
– Well, yes. But I was always here. I’m just a bit louder in your dreams, that’s all.
– And now? – I asked, looking around. My colleagues were all busy typing and talking on the phone. I was the only one not working, actually. Outside, the city was living its own life; cars speeding somewhere, people running around.
– Am I going crazy? – I asked.
– No, my friend – the voice said – you are just waking up.
– But, what is the truth I’m looking for? You said you will tell me.
– The truth is not something words could touch, my friend. But I can tell you…
– …that life is wonderful. That living is wonderful. But, you see most of you are just existing here, not really aware; just going from day to day concerned with nothing but your own comfort. You built this world to serve that purpose – to make life easier, and there’s nothing wrong with that, nothing at all. But you are also hiding away from your own inner growth, because it doesn’t fit that world; because it hurts sometimes to break those walls you built to protect yourselves. You reduced the world to a smaller level because you are afraid of it.
– Let me tell you, my friend – there is nothing to be afraid of! Open your eyes and see how wonderful everything is! Right now, in your single heartbeat, the entire Universe is moving, galaxies are rotating, stars are exploding, world are being created and destroyed! Right now, on this small planet there are millions of things happening! People move about their own things, wars are being evaded; rains are falling, ice is melting, birds are migrating. All of it right now. All of it at this very moment. Feel it! Feel your own body. Blood running through your veins, cells being regenerated and dying out; food being digested, the energy created; thoughts arising and vanishing. Every single second!
And all you can think of is what your next meal will be; the phone calls you have to make or what your boss will think of you. The world is so limited inside your head! Open your eyes, man! Just be aware of everything that is happening right now, and your place among all of these things. Just be aware of every single second of your life.
If you can do that, you will do fine. If you can do that, I promise you, you will get the answers you are looking for because they are already there. All of the answers you want are already inside of you, just waiting for the right moment to rush out and make you free. Well, to make you realize you already ARE free. It’s that easy – just be aware.
With that, he was gone. But it didn’t matter, because I understood what he was talking about. It might run out in time, but right now I was completely aware; of myself, of others, of the world. We are so small and yet so precious. I see that now. All of our problems and all of our fears exist only because we are not aware of the big picture. We don’t have to understand it, but just by being aware of it, things change so much.
I stood up and looked at the street outside. The Sun was setting somewhere behind the buildings; people were still rushing, cars were still speeding, everything was the same as before. But I was not. And with that, everything changed somehow. We don’t have to change the world to make it better, we have to change ourselves.
I smiled for no reason at all. Someone coughed and I turned around.
– You ok? – my assistant asked. Most of the people working on this floor were facing me now, curious and puzzled at the same time.
– Yeah, I’m fine. Why?
Instead of answering, he looked down. I followed is gaze.
My feet were covered in sand.
I smiled again.