To everyone I have ever met, and failed to live up to their expectations, especially if I did something to encourage them, I apologize. To every person I ever made a promise and failed to keep it, I ask for your forgiveness. To all my friends, past, present and future, whose lives I failed to enrich, at least a little bit, I am sorry.
To all my girlfriends; for all my failed relationships, I am sorry. I wish I could have been better, I wish I could have known at least some of the things I know now. I wish I told you how beautiful you were more often, and verbalized how proud I was in a clear, respectful way. I wish I was more open to receiving your love and made more effort to keep you smiling. For being stubborn and practical at the times I should have simply hugged you and say “it will pass”, I am sorry. For every time, I should have kept my mouth shut, but my pride made me speak, I’m sorry.
To everyone I disappointed in any way; everyone I failed to inspire and everyone who feels I have betrayed them in any way, I am sorry – it was not my intention. I make no excuses, of course. I take at least a part of the responsibility for how you feel but know that my intentions were pure, even if my actions had a different outcome.
For every broken promise, there was a heart full of love making it. Whatever it was, I did not promise it lightly or without care, quite the opposite. I didn’t mean to give you false hope, I really believed I could do what I promised, and I really wanted to.
For every friend I abandoned or made them feel abandoned, know that you are amazing and wonderful, it was just the gravity of Life that was stronger and pulled me in a different direction. I never forgot you, I just didn’t know how to come back, or I simply went too far and broke the seal of friendship until it could no longer be fixed. I should have said something and I should have made more effort, but after some time has passed, I was ashamed, afraid or simply did not know how to verbalize what was on my mind and how much all those years of friendship meant to me.
Dear people of my life, maybe it doesn’t mean much to you, but I did not mean to hurt, lie, betray or disappoint you. Sometimes, it happens nonetheless. I cannot apologize for how the world works, but I can share my love; tell you I always cared for you, and hope whatever I did to hurt you will not leave a scar.
Throughout my life, I did my best. I know I probably could have done better, and I see so many things I would have certainly done differently, had I known what I know now; had I been the person I am now. But, at the time, I really did my best. And I still do, every hour of every day. I believe in what I do, and, even though I forget to share my vision sometimes, it is always there, and it is always well-intentioned one, and it always includes all of you.
I know that sometimes I take the weight of the world on my shoulders, and it makes it more difficult for me to show it, but I care. Even if I drop out of touch, I care. Even if I don’t find enough time and enough words, you are still special to me, and I still value your happiness and smiles more than I care for mine.
While rediscovering my perfection, and recognizing yours, I know I’ve made mistakes. I will do better, I promise. To all those who are still a part of my life, I do my best to improve, at least a tiny bit with every passing day. And, if I make a step backward, because I took too much upon myself, I will stand my ground, and move forward. I am grateful for your help and words of encouragement, even if sometimes my pride stops me from showing how much it really means to me. On this also, I will improve, I promise.
Now, smile and let go. What else can we really do?