The peaceful deep…

I am the bravest person I know, but I can be such a coward sometimes. I can jump of the bridge or fearlessly go into a war zone, but I can’t sleep if there was a grasshopper on my bed and I didn’t see it hop away. I am so kind and loving, but I also hurt people sometimes, unwillingly. I smile and have my toes dipped in a lake of happiness mostly, but I can also be so deeply sad and worried about people I love it feels my heart is a bruised mess.

I am childish, and I talk too much, but I am also the quiet, lonely person in the corner of the room.I speak of the wisest things with a spark of a child in my eyes and then, five minutes later, I forget what I was saying, as if it never happened at all. I have big, all-encompassing dreams, but get irritated and unhappy over the smallest, most insignificant things sometimes. I have a vision of my life I would love to make real, but I will be equally happy abandoning it all with a small backpack on my back and never-ending road under my feet, never to think of it again. I am full of faith, and yet, I curse the universe when something “unfair” happens.

I can smile at the bird in flight or a flower that bloomed since the day before, feeling oneness and complete surrender to forces behind it.I can stare at the clouds for hours, feeling equally at home there in imaginary heights as I do walking through the green forests of my childhood; and yet, sometimes I find myself walled-in and hidden away; contracted and ignorant of the bliss happening outside my mind, fully-absorbed in problems and troubles no more solid than the clouds above me, should I only remember to look up.

Sometimes Life gets between me and my promises. Also, I make promises a smart person would know not to make, only because I let my heart speak for me. Other times, I fail to listen to what my heart shouts, or chose to ignore it, for reasons that feel so right at that moment, and completely absurd only ten minutes later.

I can speak like a showman, proud and sure of myself, but I can stare at the wall with no words in my throat. I am spiritual and can recognize the Perfection in any situation. I am ignorant and can be sad over a material thing I want to posses, but it’s denied to me. I can feel Love like a silent force that holds even atoms together, but sometimes I fell nothing but abandonment and loneliness. I can be happy to have felt love and sad because it wasn’t given back.

Those are not the opposites, merely different sides of a single coin. There is nothing wrong with me, nor I lack something. I am only a human being, one among billions, unique among the same. One mind in the hive of minds, all buzzing with questions and conflicts; shedding doubts along the Path, re-discovering Perfection; bouncing on the turbulent waves until I learn to hold my breath and dive into the peaceful deep. Until I learn I am the peaceful deep.

.